Drawing a blank in a fountain of inspiration…

September 21, 2011

So I usually come here when im feeling down, my whole life sadness has given way to some of, what I feel is my best work, or at the very least the most emotionally draining. I have sat at my computer, word open, the cursor blinking in front of me and guess what? Nothing happens! I have moved to a pen and paper, hoping that just moving the pen over the paper, this has worked before, would draw something out of me. Still nothing. Every time I write I always have the words, it always starts as just a list of words be they emotions, objects, people and all it would take was a little rearranging and a pinch of eloquence and spell check and I was always left with a finished product that was a direct and accurate description of what I felt or a story I was trying to tell.

Currently… I still have nothing. I have been doing this song and dance with the blinking cursor for, Christ, months? Something has happened to my ability to say how I am feeling and what is going on in a manner that keeps you just outside the “the know” and….. I don’t know how to come to terms with this.

After what I hope is the final blow in a string of blows throughout a year that has totally blown… I can say this with certain confidence… I am not a writer anymore. Fuck.

I don’t know where to go with this blog anymore, I am grasping for inspiration but I think you can actually reach a point where things hurt so bad, that even your outlet for said emotion, can give up on you.

So maybe I will bore you with my day-to-day rantings and complaining, maybe I wont. Maybe I’ll just post a slew of other people’s inspiring words in hopes that my own inspiration comes back to me. I kinda like the idea of keeping you guessing.

xoxo

v.

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